1. Mutual Respect: Does your partner understand how great you are and why? Healthy couples recognize, acknowledge, and brag about each other’s strengths constantly.
2. Trust: Do you feel that your partner has the same commitment to your relationship when you are with them as when you are not with them? A healthy couple will have no doubt of their partner’s commitment to them, whether they are laying next to them in bed every night, or in a hotel on the other side of the country for a business trip.
3. Honesty: Do you avoid telling your partner information that they would most likely feel is important for them to know? This one goes hand-in-hand with trust, and is just as important for a healthy relationship.
4. Support: Is your partner there for you in good times AND in bad? In a healthy relationship, they will be there for you whether your world is falling apart, or everything seems to being falling perfectly into place.
5. Fairness/equality: Is there an equal amount of give-and-take in your relationship? Neither partner should feel that they are giving more or receiving less than the other.
6. Separate identities: Do you have activities, interests, and friendships separate from your partners’? It is important that while you’re making compromises for your relationship, you aren’t losing out on being yourself and keeping other close relationships in tact.
7. Good communication: Do you feel like you can speak your mind around your partner? Couples who are good at communicating do it openly, honestly, and OFTEN.
8. Kindness: Is being kind to your partner more important to you than being in control, getting your way, or being right all the time? Being kind to one another is essential for a healthy relationship.
9. Humor: Do you enjoy and appreciate your partner’s sense of humor, and can you use that humor to lighten up difficult situations? Sharing a similar sense of humor with your partner and laughing together makes your relationship so much deeper, and more fun!
10. Learning: Do you feel like you have discovered everything there is to know about your partner? While it is healthy to share all of yourself with your partner, it is impossible to do, even over a lifetime. Healthy couples are constantly learning new things about each other.
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ReplyDeleteThe movement received an important boost in the mid-1950s through the work of anthropologist Gregory Bateson and colleagues – Jay Haley, Donald D. Jackson, John Weakland, William Fry, and later, Virginia Satir, Paul Watzlawick and others – at Palo Alto in the United States, who introduced ideas from cybernetics and general systems theory into social psychology and psychotherapy, focusing in particular on the role of communication (see Bateson Project). This approach eschewed the traditional focus on individual psychology and historical factors – that involve so-called linear causation and content – and emphasized instead feedback and homeostatic mechanisms and “rules” in here-and-now interactions – so-called circular causation and process – that were thought to maintain or exacerbate problems, whatever the original cause(s). This group was also influenced significantly by the work of US psychiatrist, hypnotherapist, and brief therapist, Milton H. Erickson - especially his innovative use of strategies for change, such as paradoxical directives (see also Reverse psychology). The members of the Bateson Project (like the founders of a number of other schools of family therapy, including Carl Whitaker, Murray Bowen, and Ivan Böszörményi-Nagy) had a particular interest in the possible psychosocial causes and treatment of schizophrenia, especially in terms of the putative "meaning" and "function" of signs and symptoms within the family system. The research of psychiatrists and psychoanalysts Lyman Wynne and Theodore Lidz on communication deviance and roles (e.g., pseudo-mutuality, pseudo-hostility, schism and skew) in families of schizophrenics also became influential with systems-communications-oriented theorists and therapists. A related theme, applying to dysfunction and psychopathology more generally, was that of the "identified patient" or "presenting problem" as a manifestation of or surrogate for the family's, or even society's, problems. (See also double bind; family nexus.)
Most people think of therapy as involving a one-to-one relationship with a therapist. However, there are times when it is more appropriate for family therapy and marital counseling either instead of or in addition to individual therapy.
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